My flesh, muscles & bones are yours,
But not my heart
My heart is split & owned three ways,
No quarter left for me or you.
Take what I have left, bricks, money, security,
Have my children, own my youth.
Yours are my hugs and kiss. Arms and breath at night.
But when your ear is pressed upon my chest.
You’ll hear nothing beat inside.
SCENE 1
(Orpheum Theatre. 6 Seats together. In an even/odd fashion with women’s shall’s draped on the backs of 3 of them. ROBERT sits on his own. JOSEPH makes his way toward him carrying 2 glasses of wine.
JOSEPH
Should we tell him?
ROBERT
Who?
JOSEPH
Tom
(ROBERT looks confused)
ROBERT
Tell him what?
JOSEPH
About Teresa
ROBERT
What about her?
JOSEPH
Her cheating…
ROBERT
She’s cheating on him?
(Genuine surprise)
JOSEPH
You didn’t know?
ROBERT
Why would I know?
JOSEPH
I thought people knew.
ROBERT
I-I can’t believe it
(Beat)
Did she tell me?
(ROBERT seems to be recounting the last few conversations with TERESA in his head)
JOSEPH
Maybe not then. She is telling though.
ROBERT
Who has she told?
(ROBERT’S shock now looking like an offended look to have not been told.)
JOSEPH
Kerry
ROBERT
Why did she tell Kerry?
JOSEPH
Don’t know, didn’t ask really.
(JOSEPH looks around, no sign of anyone returning to their seats just yet)
ROBERT
But Kerry told you?
JOSEPH
No Teresa told me
ROBERT
How do you know she told Kerry then?
JOSEPH
She told me
ROBERT
Who told you what? I’m fully confused.
JOSEPH
Teresa told me that she had told Kerry
ROBERT
That she was cheating?
JOSEPH
Yeah
ROBERT
Do we know who with?
JOSEPH
Me
ROBERT
Tell me you are kidding.
JOSEPH
Nope
(A pause. ROBERT just shakes his head. JOSEPH seems way too nonchalant)
ROBERT
You’re having an affair with Teresa?
JOSEPH
Was. Am. Yeah
ROBERT
Why?
JOSEPH
I don’t know. She asked I guess.
(ROBERT turns sarcastic)
ROBERT
Oh nicely I hope?
JOSEPH
(Smiles)
Oh very nicely
ROBERT
What kind of man are you? That’s Tom’s girlfriend you’re talking about—WE are talking about.
JOSEPH
I know
ROBERT
And Kerry KNOWS?
JOSEPH
Yeah
ROBERT
Your Kerry?
JOSEPH
Yeah
ROBERT
And you are still together?
JOSEPH
Seems like it.
(JOSEPH looks at the seat next to him currently empty but with a woman’s shawl draped over the back of it)
Unless she never comes back from the bar.
(He looks back again, no sign of anyone coming back to join them, he turns back.)
JOSEPH (CON’TD)
God these pants itch, what are they Mohair?
(He reaches to itch his ass)
ROBERT
That’s what you get for borrowing Dad’s wedding tux. I keep telling you it’s been in the wardrobe for 30 years.
JOSEPH
But what can cause this strength of itch? Did he shed in them? Like a lab?
ROBERT
Nice.
(ROBERT snaps back to the bigger issue)
ROBERT (CON’TD)
But Kerry knows you’re cheating?
JOSEPH
Apparently
ROBERT
Has she talked to you about it?
JOSEPH
We…talked
ROBERT
About?
JOSEPH
That’s why I think we—I should tell Tom
ROBERT
About Teresa…and you?
(JOSEPH nods and then seems to look around, a little bored.)
ROBERT
I don’t know. It sounds like he’ll probably find out. What if Kerry tells him? Where is Tom anyway.
(He looks at another one of the empty seats)
JOSEPH
At the bar I guess
ROBERT
With Kerry? Oh man you’re in trouble.
JOSEPH
Probably not, they normally talk about other stuff. I over hear them sometimes.
ROBERT
Like what?
JOSEPH
Work, the weather…sex.
ROBERT
That’s my point
(ROBERT gets up)
ROBERT (CON’TD)
I’ll go and make sure they are not—
JOSEPH
There sex
ROBERT (CON’TD)
There sex?
(A PAUSE in which ROBERT stays stood, confused again)
ROBERT (CONT’D)
There sex?
(JOSEPH nods)
JOSEPH
They are having an affair.
(ROBERT slumps in the chair. Shocked AGAIN)
ROBERT
Is their anyone who isn’t screwing their friends girlfriends?
JOSEPH
You
SCENE 2:
(KERRY is stood at the bar, she sinks the last of her glass of red wine, TOM is stood next to her, staring at her lovingly as she carries on her. He holds his own glass.)
KERRY
He expects me to just carry on the way things were that’s what. Knowing what I know.
TOM
Does he know you know
KERRY
He knows. I’m sure he does.
TOM
Have you talked about it?
(KERRY takes his glass off him and takes a hit)
KERRY
No but that’s not new. He has closed ears.
TOM
You should talk.
KERRY
That’s what I said to him
TOM
And
KERRY
Nothing
TOM
You said we should talk and he said nothing?
KERRY
Almost.
TOM
What did he say
KERRY
He extended the shhhh
(KERRY takes another gulp of her wine, TOM looks around nervously)
TOM
I’m sure he didn’t mean it.
KERRY
You’re supposed to be on my side?
TOM
I’m not on sides, Do you know who?—
KERRY
You’re not on sides?
(KERRY cuts him off, perfectly timed)
TOM
I don’t want to take sides.
KERRY
We are sleeping together.
TOM
I know—
KERRY
You are all the same.
TOM
How
KERRY
He is a shit. You’re a shit. That’s the ins and the outs of it. I have swapped a cheat for a cheat.
TOM
Come on
KERRY
I’ll come nowhere, men stick together.
TOM
Its not a boys club, he is my friend
(KERRY gets angry)
KERRY
Who’s girlfriend you are sleeping with. And he—
(KERRY stops herself short)
TOM
What?
KERRY
What?
TOM
He what?
KERRY
He…doesn’t know. You cant play the friend card now. That shit has sailed.
TOM
Ship
KERRY
What?
TOM
We should probably go back in. Where is Teresa?
KERRY
I don’t know. Where is Joseph?
TOM
He went in with the drinks.
KERRY
Id try in then
TOM
Want another drink?
(He looks at the now empty glass in KERRY’s hand)
KERRY
Yeah. Have you and Teresa talked about anything?
(TOM turns and gets 2 more drinks)
TOM
No… and she CAN’T find out.
KERRY
Find out?
(KERRY is confused)
TOM
Us
(Clicks, he is not talking about TERESA and JOSEPH, he doesn’t know)
KERRY
Oh. Yeah.
TOM
You haven’t talked have you?
KERRY
Oh we have talked…
(She almost snarls, then compses herself)
Not about us though.
TOM
She wouldn’t forgive me.
KERRY
Is forgiveness what you want?
TOM
I guess
KERRY
So you’re filled with regret
TOM
No, of course I’m not. I’ll never regret what we have. Had. Have. I have wanted you since the first day I met you.
(KERRYS smiles)
KERRY
Now you have me
TOM
But I don’t do I?
KERRY
That wasn’t you in your office yesterday?
TOM
You know what I mean
KERRY
No
TOM
We have partners we love.
(She pretends not to look bothered about JOSEPH)
TOM
People will find out.
(Beat)
Unless we stop
KERRY
What if that is what I wanted?
TOM
To stop?
KERRY
People to find out
TOM
Its not.
KERRY
How do you know
TOM
You told me
(KERRY makes a shrug “yeah” gesture)
KERRY
But we don’t have to stop yet do we?
TOM
What if Joseph found out. Or Teresa?
KERRY
I doubt she’d care
(TOM takes this comment badly)
TOM
Meaning?
KERRY
Meaning we are all the same. She probably wouldn’t even be surprised.
TOM
Teresa is not like you.
KERRY
I know
TOM
She doesn’t think like you
KERRY
I know
(Pause)
TOM
You’re lack of feeling is an art. Perfected over time.
KERRY
Are you calling me old?
TOM
She’s a better person than you.
KERRY
Yeah?
TOM
Yeah
KERRY
Don’t be so sure.
TOM
Meaning?
(Pause)
KERRY
We are all the same.
(KERRY takes a victorious last sip of the wine)
TOM
We are not— I’m not like you.
KERRY
Tell that to Joseph.
TOM
I will tell him, that’s the difference.
(He walks back toward to theatre)
KERRY
Tom stop he cant—
(She tries to grab his arm, all panic now the table has turned. He pulls it back and continues)
END SCENE:
SCENE 3:
TERESA walks in the other end of the BAR. She sits down, head in her hands. CLAIRE walks in from outside behind her, see’s her and stops)
CLAIRE
What’s wrong?
(TERESA comes up with a fright)
TERESA
Oh, nothing
CLAIRE
Nothing?
TERESA
Yeah, just drunk probably you know me
CLAIRE
You don’t drink
TERESA
I might start
CLAIRE
Come on, you can tell me.
(TERESA gives up the act)
TERESA
I am a fool
CLAIRE
Who isn’t.
TERESA
Tom.
CLAIRE
You sure?
TERESA
Yes.
CLAIRE
Sorry, joke.
TERESA
He deserves better than me.
CLAIRE
What’s happened?
(TERESA puts her head back in her hands)
(Beat)
TERESA
Lots
CLAIRE
Did you break something?
TERESA
No?
CLAIRE
Sell something?
TERESA
No
CLAIRE
Take a loan off his parents without telling him?
TERESA
No, where are you getting all of this?
CLAIRE
Nowhere— Then what have you done?
TERESA
I cant say.
CLAIRE
We tell each other everything
TERESA
Not this.
CLAIRE
That’s why we’re all so close
(TERESA puts her head back in her hands and starts crying harder)
CLAIRE
What did I say?
(TERESA just shakes her head)
CLAIRE
I’ll get us a drink
TERESA
Tom has one for me
CLAIRE
Where is he?
TERESA
I don’t know
CLAIRE
Come on
TERESA
Ok, a small red wine.
(CLAIRE turns and grabs 2 glasses of red wine, she passes one to TERESA)
TERESA
I’m pregnant
(TERESA looks horrified as she says the words out loud, then after a second puts the glass to her lips. CLAIRE grabs the glass straight back off her)
CLAIRE
But that’s great
TERESA
No
CLAIRE
It is
(TERESA shakes her head)
CLAIRE
Why not
CLAIRE
NO
TERESA
Yes
CLAIRE
Jesus
TERESA
Jesus
CLAIRE
Then who
(TERESA grabs the glass back and swigs it before CLAIRE can do anything about it)
SCENE 4
(JOSEPH & ROBERT are sat, ROBERT’s glass is empty, he has a look of confusion on his face. JOSEPH sips away at his wine, calm as a coma)
ROBERT
So what now
JOSEPH
Don’t know
ROBERT
What do you want?
JOSPEH
To be
(Short pause)
Lost
ROBERT
Lost?
JOSEPH
Like a cat
ROBERT
Then climb a tree I am being serious
JOSEPH
So am I
ROBERT
What are you going to do about Tom? And Kerry, and Tom and Kerry
JOSEPH
Climb a tree
ROBERT
It wouldn’t work
(JOSEPH itches at his backside again)
JOSEPH
Why
ROBERT
I’d put up posters… call the fire brigade.
JOSEPH
What would you do.
ROBERT
You cant ask me
JOSEPH
Too late
ROBERT
What do you want?
JOSEPH
It’s confusing. The whole situation
ROBERT
I’m not surprised.
JOSEPH
I should tell Tom
ROBERT
Does he know that you know about him and Kerry?
JOSEPH
No
ROBERT
Does Kerry?
JOSEPH
No
ROBERT
Teresa?
JOSEPH
No
ROBERT
Why haven’t you told Teresa
JOSEPH
Karma
ROBERT
Karma?
JOSEPH
Yeah.
ROBERT
I wanted a real answer, not shite philosophy
JOSEPH
Tom doesn’t know about me and Teresa. Teresa doesn’t know about Kerry and Tom. I know about both.
ROBERT
Obviously
JOSEPH
Obviously. Crime and Punishment. My crime is Teresa, and my punishment is Tom, and Kerry.
(ROBERT nods, kind of getting it)
JOSEPH (CONT’D)
Because I haven’t told them I know, I am left suffering in silence. Doing my time early.
ROBERT
Deep. Bull. But deep bull.
JOSEPH
Well, it makes me feel better.
(JOSEPH scratches again.)
ROBERT
Would you just buy a tux already? Every time we come to one of these things you scratch your ass off.
JOSEPH
Stop bringing me to them then.
(JOSEPH actually gets up to scratch his ass, ROBERT looks around embarrassed)
ROBERT
Honestly, it looks like I brought a giant flea with me
JOSEPH
They don’t scratch
ROBERT
Course they do
JOSEPH
They itch
ROBERT
Yeah
JOSEPH
No, they itch, they bite, they make you itch, they don’t actually scratch themselves.
ROBERT
Huh
JOSEPH
If you’re going to make fun, make it right.
ROBERT
Ok, it looks like I brought a scratching RETARD with me
JOSEPH
Better.
(TOM and KERRY arrive unseen)
KERRY
What’s better?
(ROBERT stands up to let KERRY through. JOSEPH looks up but doesn’t move as she perches herself next to him. TOM sits next to ROBERT. The seating now going. Space TOM, ROBERT, Space, KERRY, JOSEPH.)
KERRY
What’s better baby?
JOSEPH
He called me a retard
KERRY
Robert! That’s awful.
TOM
What was retard better than?
ROBERT
Flea
TOM
Right…
ROBERT
Long story
TOM
Something about his scratching?
ROBERT
Yes
KERRY
You really should buy a dinner suit darling
(JOSEPH just sits)
KERRY
I mean we do come to an awful lot of these formal events. And you cant expect to fit in that one much longer, not at the rate you keep drinking.
(JOSEPH just smiles to himself. KERRY leans across his to talk to the other two)
KERRY
He drinks constantly now. I struggle to get a coherent word out of him past 10. He says he can’t write sober.
TOM
Is that right mate? Sounds like it might be part of a bigger problem
(ROBERT sees the need to intervene)
ROBERT
Writers block, it is hard to—
KERRY
Writers block, struggling artist turns to drink. Headline grabber, so unoriginal.
JOSEPH
I am sleeping with Teresa.
(Stunned silence, all look freaked out, TOM takes a second to repeat this in his head)
TOM
What?
JOSEPH
I am sleeping with Teresa
TOM
You are sleeping with Teresa? You are SLEEPING WITH TERESA!?
(JOSEPH looks forward and just nods)
KERRY
What are you saying?
JOSEPH
I am sleeping with Teresa
KERRY
I can’t believe what I am—
JOSEPH
Bullshit! Tell lover boy you didn’t know.
(KERRY looks confused, either seriously or well acted)
KERRY
Wha—
JOSEPH
Oh get the fuck out of here. Lover boy—
(He points at TOM who is in horror still)
Tell him. Tell him you didn’t know.
(ROBERT is head in hands, TOM is staring, now angry, KERRY slouches down and puts her head back on the seat, half defeated)
KERRY
How do you know?
JOSEPH
You two are the most inept conspirators ever. A blind, deaf retard could have figured it out.
ROBERT
I didn’t
JOSEPH
So yes Tom, one last time, I am sleeping with your girlfriend. Kerry, I am sleeping with you’re best friend. But like I say…
(He looks back at TOM)
She already knew that.
TOM
Why didn’t you tell me?
KERRY
Me? Its wasn’t my place
TOM
You’re place?!
KERRY
I didn’t want to…take sides.
(JOSEPH laughs)
TOM
You are taking great satisfaction in this. What the fuck have I ever done to you?
JOSEPH
Fuck my girlfriend
TOM
But that was— we were a mistake
(KERRY gets nailed by this one)
JOSEPH
Continually?
TOM
I mean, an accident
KERRY
A mistake! That’s not what you said out there.
JOSEPH
Genius
(TOM ignores KERRY)
TOM
I never meant to hurt you. But you obviously want to hurt me.
KERRY
TOM
TOM
I said I didn’t regret it
JOSEPH
You will
TOM
Shut up
(TERESA and CLAIRE now enter unseen)
KERRY
What’s the difference?
TOM
What?
KERRY
Between how you feel and not regretting having an affair with me
TERESA
You have to be kidding me
(They all swing around to see TERESA and CLAIRE making there way to there seats next to them)
TOM
Teresa. Its not what you think.
JOSEPH
It is
TOM
You shut the FUCK up
JOSEPH
It is
(TOM gets up and tries to get to JOSEPH, ROBERT gets up and stops him)
TERESA
TOM stop it
(He stops immediately and turns back to her, begging face back on)
TOM
I am so sorry baby, I, I…I
TERESA
And you
(She looks at KERRY)
After I poured my heart out to you, BEGGING for your forgiveness.
KERRY
You got it didn’t you
TERESA
I didn’t know this is why…I wouldn’t have offered you anything
KERRY
But you did. You are still forgiven by the way
TERESA
You bitch
(CLAIRE stops TERESA trying to get to KERRY)
CLAIRE
Stop it. You can’t.
TERESA
I can
CLAIRE
You can’t, think of the ba…
(She stops herself, to late. Everyone STANDS STILL)
TERESA
Oh no
TOM
You’re pregnant?
JOSEPH
Pregnant?
(KERRY smiles meanly, CLAIRE pats TERESA’s shoulder as she puts her head in her hands and slumps into a seat, ROBERT stares straight ahead, silent.)
TERESA
Yes.
(Silence, a long pause)
TOM
You are having his baby?
JOSEPH
But
KERRY
You cant be
JOSEPH
You can’t
KERRY
Joseph is sterile.
TOM
It’s mine? Is it…
(He stops himself for a good hard think, TERESA shakes her head in her hands, CLAIRE still has her hands on her shoulder, ROBERT stares straight ahead)
(Everyone stares at ROBERT)
BLACKOUT.
END.
Not enough for your friends, not inspired for your art,
Il just sit here and rot like always.
Its not like you’d notice anyway.
Move my eyes to the back of my brain through dark thoughts and the pain,
Keep an eye behind just incase.
Your south crown in shape, with those fucks all so fake,
Il wait in this one horse town.
Its not like you’d notice anyway.
